Special Delivery!

Ever notice how a pebble to one is a boulder to another?

This is especially true where men and women are concerned. Most women (emotional) see boulders and most men (logical) see pebbles.  Men and women are two very different creatures and therefore were created to think differently. 

The woman is the nurturer so naturally she is going to see things more in depth where emotion is concerned.  The man is the provider and therefore he sees things more out of a necessity. The woman looks at the here and now through a very fine magnifying glass.. the man looks at the quickest remedy for future pretense in order to move from point A to point B. 

Though both are similar in nature, they still yet are very unique from one another. This is not a bad design for either because God made us this way. So my logical side says there has to be a way to work in harmony. Wouldn’t you agree? 

So how do we get these two on the same page to be able to live in harmony and not in conflict?

Well it begins with how we see things and how we view each other.  Let’s decipher for a moment.. “how we see things”.. well this begins with our thinking process. If we are selfishly thinking only about how this person hurt us, then we are not focusing on how to deal with the real problem. In order to get to that point, we have to contain the emotion and refrain from just spilling out when we want them to see how we feel.

Emotions are not a bad thing; in fact if we didn’t have them, we would be nothing more than robots; but there’s a right way and a wrong way to using our emotions to deliver our message. Sometimes it’s best to take a time out and switch gears into a more logical state of mind. It sounds hard I know, but it can be done and when done properly you will both reap the rewards and benefit in your relationship as you gain a more personal understanding of the other person.  Then the next time conflict arises, it won’t seem like a boulder because you will have gained the tools on how to relate to each other and feel what the other person is feeling so that you can actually work through the problem without either of you being selfish about it.

 

So how do we switch gears?

It requires our thinking caps! You have to stop and think a moment. Take a deep breath through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth.  Now, it’s time to “think” through the problem.  Chances are that if you are engaged in a conflict with someone then you already know how they are going to respond, so do NOT push those buttons in order to hurt them.  That’s an emotional tactic that will cause you to see fire and smoke coming from their nostrils!! I repeat.. no matter how tempted you are to push their buttons, DO NOT FEED THE MONSTER! STOP and THINK, “if I do this, this solves nothing, we both walk away angry and the problem is still there”. Oh but how tempting it can be, right? Lol!

In James 3:2-3, we are told “if you can control your tongue, you are mature and able to control your whole body. By putting a bit into the mouth of a horse, we can turn the horse in different directions”.

So what this is saying is that if you hold your tongue (which is our emotional outlet) and instead can put a bit (logical thinking) into our mouth, we can remedy the situation and thus control the outcome of our situation.  This is great! From that passage alone, we gain the tools needed to get out of the rut we are in and learn a new and calming approach that will better help us understand one another.

 

The next phase is what TO say and what NOT to say..

When tempers flare, we go into a “me.. it’s all about me and what I want” status. We want what we want and we won’t let go until we get what we want. What we should do is go into an “I feel” status. You’re essentially saying the same thing, but it’s delivered in a more positive way that conveys how you FEEL, not just what you want or that you are determined to “win” the battle. Practice saying “when you say, do or don’t do things like this, I feel…” and describe what you alone are feeling. There are Rules you have to follow in order to not push their buttons.. don’t start a sentence with, “you never and you always”.  Those are fighting words.. they push that button in so far that you will need a magnifying glass to see it and tweezers to pull it back out! I’m not kidding you. Instead, use “I feel” to deliver your message. It doesn’t go over like a lead balloon and the benefit is that you have just conveyed HOW you are feeling without attacking the other person. You have just put that bit into your mouth and tamed your tongue.  It’s so easy to want to do the wrong thing, but with the strength of the Lord which comes from getting His Word into our hearts, we can resist the devil and he will flee from us. Work on your delivery. Make it unique and special so that when you speak, people will actually listen instead of retaliating because they feel they have just been attacked.

 

James 3:9 , says “with our tongue we speak both praises and curses”.

Do you know that we have the power to bless and curse others?

By the same measure we also have the power to bless and curse ourselves. Pretty powerful and eye opening isn’t it?

The Bible tells us that we can literally SPEAK things into EXISTENCE. Whoa! I don’t know about you but when I first read that, my jaw dropped. I have the power to SPEAK into any situation and make the outcome of that situation either good or bad for me as well as for another person. That means that I have been given another tool through the Word of God and with this tool, God can set me free from whatever bondage I’m in.

Another thing the Word tells us is that we should call those things as though they already are.

Speak your healing, Speak to that mountain and MAKE it move! We were given the ability to do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!

In closing.. this is my Special Delivery to you..

Read James: 4:17-18 and wrap it up inside your heart. “wisdom that comes from above leads us to be pure, friendly, gentle, sensible, kind, helpful, genuine and sincere. When peacemakers plant seeds of peace, they will harvest justice”.

 

What are you planting in your life as well as others lives today?

Are you expecting a harvest of justice or are you unbridled? 

Does your tongue bless or curse others?

How is your delivery?  Is it a Special delivery designed by God through His Word or is it a negative delivery of an attack that will ultimately lead to a destruction?